Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and
pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis, "Garfield"
Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity. ~Voltaire
There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye. ~Author Unknown
We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking. ~Steve Elbert
High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us? ~Annita Manning
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. ~Garrison Keillor
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? ~Author Unknown
Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it. ~Author Unknown
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. ~John Barrymore
Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people. ~Elizabeth Berry
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. ~Channing Pollock
Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! ~Tommy Smothers
Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. ~Author Unknown
It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat. ~Robert Fuoss
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. ~Buddy Hackett
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray. ~Author Unknown
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. ~Ambrose Bierce
One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. ~Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, Pavarotti, My Own Story
After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps. ~Miss Piggy
The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis. ~Beatrice & Ira Freeman
You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. ~Earl Wilson
The belly rules the mind. ~Spanish Proverb
My favorite animal is steak. ~Fran Lebowitz
When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste. ~Laiko Bahrs
We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy. ~William Osler
If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate. ~Diogenes the Cynic
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. ~G.K. Chesterton
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. ~John Gunther
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~Fran Lebowitz
Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. ~Josh Billings
A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. ~George Rosenbaum
Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great. ~Henry IV of France
Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ~Robert Byrne
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. ~Lewis Grizzard
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. ~José Simons
Chili represents your three stages of matter: solid, liquid, and eventually gas. ~Roseanne, "Don't Make Me Over," May 1992, spoken by character Dan Conner
A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. ~Old New York Proverb
Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. ~Fran Lebowitz
Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity. ~Voltaire
There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye. ~Author Unknown
We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking. ~Steve Elbert
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High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us? ~Annita Manning
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. ~Garrison Keillor
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? ~Author Unknown
Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it. ~Author Unknown
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. ~John Barrymore
Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people. ~Elizabeth Berry
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. ~Channing Pollock
Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! ~Tommy Smothers
Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. ~Author Unknown
It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat. ~Robert Fuoss
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. ~Buddy Hackett
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray. ~Author Unknown
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. ~Ambrose Bierce
One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. ~Luciano Pavarotti and William Wright, Pavarotti, My Own Story
After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps. ~Miss Piggy
The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis. ~Beatrice & Ira Freeman
You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. ~Earl Wilson
The belly rules the mind. ~Spanish Proverb
My favorite animal is steak. ~Fran Lebowitz
When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste. ~Laiko Bahrs
We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy. ~William Osler
If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate. ~Diogenes the Cynic
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. ~G.K. Chesterton
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. ~John Gunther
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~Fran Lebowitz
Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. ~Josh Billings
A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. ~George Rosenbaum
Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great. ~Henry IV of France
Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ~Robert Byrne
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. ~Lewis Grizzard
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. ~José Simons
Chili represents your three stages of matter: solid, liquid, and eventually gas. ~Roseanne, "Don't Make Me Over," May 1992, spoken by character Dan Conner
A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. ~Old New York Proverb
Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. ~Fran Lebowitz